Goodnight Moon

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Yes, We Can

“Now is not the time for small plans.”

Not to go all TV news anchor on you, but I got goosebumps watching Obama’s acceptance speech at the DNC tonight. (And yes, I was a little teary when he talked about Dr. King at the end.) Obama was strong, he was fierce, he had an urgency to his message that was so powerful. Yes, he’s charismatic, but it’s really not about personal charm so much as personal conviction. Watching him, I really do believe that he believes in his message of change. I am ready to be hopeful, ready to be inspired. I am ready for a political discourse about compassion and optimism, instead of the many years of war and fear-mongering that we have lived through.

Jason is the political prognosticator in this relationship, so I don’t have any brilliant analyses to share. I just have my overwhelming hope that change will come. Some of my favorite segments of his talk:

That's the promise of America – the idea that we are responsible for ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper; I am my sister's keeper. That's the promise we need to keep. That's the change we need right now.
* * *
America, we are better than these last eight years. We are a better country than this.
* * *
America, our work will not be easy...What has also been lost is our sense of common purpose – our sense of higher purpose. And that's what we have to restore. But I stand before you tonight because all across America something is stirring. What the nay-sayers don't understand is that this election has never been about ME. It's been about YOU.

For eighteen long months, you have stood up, one by one, and said enough to the politics of the past...You have shown what history teaches us – that at defining moments like this one, the change we need doesn't come from Washington. Change comes TO Washington. Change happens because the American people demand it – because they rise up and insist on new ideas and new leadership, a new politics for a new time.

America, this is one of those moments.

An oldie but goodie:

A fairly ridiculous (but mildly amusing) anti-McCain parody: "No, You Cant."

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Your Hair is Your Head Suit

It's been over a year since I tortured us all by turning pictures of myself into monkeys and sketchy men, so I was primed and ready for some photoshoppin' fun over at Yearbook Yourself. And my friends, the pictures did not disappoint. A few of my favorites:

Boogie WonderLiz

Madame Lizbrarian

"Nobody Puts Lizzie in a Corner!"

More fun with head suits after the jump.

This journey begins in the good old days of yesteryear, when men were men and girls were all aging matrons. Remember ladies, never leave home without your finger waves and a shirt with a hideous collar.

The 1970's brought the women's lib movement. Important gains were made, including the rights to equal employment, salary, and feathered hair. The oppressive male patriarchy (and common sense) said "No no," but drunk hairstylists said "Yes yes!"

The following picture gets included because I think I'm rocking a variation of this style today.

See for yourself...maybe I should reconsider my 'do.

Ah, the AquaNet 80's. Were there any heights of hair stupidity that could not be scaled with a can of industrial-strength hairspray and a ratting comb? As a child I really, really wanted my hair to look like this.

I also dreamt of color-coordinated bright pink leggings and plastic earring combinations, though, so I was perhaps not the arbiter of good fashion sense I fancied myself back then.

Fortunately things calmed down in the late 1990's, but not soon enough to prevent an explosion of truly unfortunate bangs. I spent way too many years with my hair styled into limp, unattractive forehead noodles because I thought my forehead was too big to go uncovered. I have never felt more liberated than when I finally decided to grow them out--at age twenty. Twenty! That's two decades of blissful bangs-free existence I could have been living!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Be Afraid

Scary things abound in our apartment as of late:

Relentlessly aggressive pigeons, who won't rest until they claw their way through our nets and onto our balcony. We have been living in a Hitchcockian nightmare the past few weeks.
Our neighbor's demented scarecrow, designed (we assume) to scare away said pigeons. This thing greets us whenever we walk outside.
My new love, spinach smoothies. They aren't really scary, but they do bear an unfortunate resemblance to swamp water. And really, they're delicious! Just close your eyes and chug...

Honorable mention goes to the book I'm reading, Cormac McCarthy's The Road. Oprah was not lying, this book is intense. I thought No Country For Old Men was fierce, but this one is even worse. (Meaning better.) I recommend it only to the stouthearted.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

10 things

I’ve been tagged to list 10 things about me that you may not know. Since this sounds better than working on the website, I figured I’d play along…

1. In addition to the piano, I also used to play the French horn and the cello. I even marched in marching band for two years with the horn…which is just as difficult and dorky as it sounds. I was never very good at the cello—I played in college and just didn’t have enough time (or motivation) to really practice. Now I would like to learn the guitar. And I wouldn’t mind taking jazz piano lessons, either.

2. I danced for most of my childhood/teenage years. Mostly jazz and tap, with some ballet thrown in. (But I was terrible at ballet, so the only ballet lessons were those forced on me.) The pinnacle of my dancing career was playing Dorothy in an all-dancing version of The Wizard of Oz.

3. Throughout college I worked as a technical writer for Compaq/Hewlett-Packard. It was awesome and a total blast, except for the technical writing part. (Seriously, my division’s beach volleyball team was unstoppable!) I worked every summer and even telecommuted my senior year of college, but ultimately decided I didn’t want to take all the programming classes necessary to really make a career of it. And thus began my quest to find a job I actually liked…

4. I almost ALMOST went to graduate school at the University of Chicago. I visited the campus, loved the program, loved the people and professors, and decided to go. Everything was settled—I even had my housing arranged—but in the end I realized that it wasn’t what I should be doing. Although I’m sure I would have loved it, I’m really glad I didn’t go because I think I would have ended up with a lot of debt, and a not-very-marketable degree.

5. I am (was) a certified personal trainer, and I also had certification to teach Pilates. I loved the schooling, and loved studying for the exams—I’m an exercise fiend and found all of the scientific explanations fascinating. Turns out, I don’t love training folks—I am really not a people person, and I found the actual work of drumming up clients and the sales side of the business distasteful. Another career bites the dust!

6. London is my favorite city I’ve ever visited. (This probably isn’t a secret to anyone, but whatever.) I would move back there in a heartbeat, if it wasn’t ridiculously expensive. Everyone comments on the lousy weather, but I greatly prefer cool temperatures and cloudy skies to constant sunshine (are you listening, LA?) And the city vibe, culture, and omnipresent Indian food can’t be beat.

On top of the world, London's Primrose Hill

7. I really, really value my alone time. Jason is more social and always likes company, but I find that I need at least an hour or two by myself each day in order to stay sane. This is partially why I don’t think all of his research trips are a big problem in our relationship—I love being alone! Keep ‘em coming.

8. I have a secret hippie past. I used to be obsessed with jam bands, and the first concert I went to was The Other Ones (aka the Grateful Dead once Jerry Garcia died) and Phish in high school. I spent many happy summer days shopping the thrift stores on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley. Fortunately my music taste and fashion sense have improved since then.

9. Recently I’ve developed a new reoccurring nightmare: plants or fungus-like things growing on (or out of) people, especially my loved ones. It may sound silly but these dreams are very vivid and disturbing. Anyone wanting to play Dr. Freud is welcome to tell me what it means!

10. This last item is a tie of three things I really, really hate: adults dressed as children (and talking like children, like in movies or plays), animals dressed as people, and babies dressed as animals or plants. The madness must END.

The unholy trinity

I’d like to hear 10 things about Jason…especially because something needs to break his 3-month blogging drought!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Productivity

To-Do List When Unexpectedly Not Working:

Work out like a crazy person. Ideally twice a day. Go to the gym; hike in the park; hit those yoga classes you've been neglecting; curse your rubber-band tight hamstrings; sweat more than you've sweated in a year.

Do a full grocery shopping run, not just little things here and there. Make real dinner. And even better: eat real dinner, at a normal dinner time, with husband. Marvel at how it's still light when you're eating dinner.

Fiddle around in the kitchen making unnecessary desserts. Take lots of pictures and begin blogging on the neglected dessert website.

Watch movies of middling quality. Ponder how in the world Atonement got all those Oscar nominations. Wistfully recall the time when you did not have the warbling of Pierce Brosnan and Meryl Streep to haunt your nightmares.

Make lots of work-related phone calls. Be sure to not get ahold of anyone who can actually provide answers.

Calculate how long you can legitimately not work before changing your profession from "pastry chef" to "bum-about-town."

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Four years!

Six years ago this October, we started dating.
Five years ago last month, we were engaged.
Four years ago today, we were married in the Oakland Temple.

I never imagined I'd find someone who fit me so well, who could accept and even celebrate all of my (delightfully charming) high-maintenance quirks.
These past four years have been a blast. We have literally never had a fight, although I cannot take any credit for that. I keep trying to pick fights, and he keeps being awesome and mellow and peaceful. Hmph!

But seriously, how could I not love this boy? To quote Homer Simpson talking to his pet pig, "Oooh, you have soooo many looks!" Behold his versatility:

King Jason keeping a stiff upper lip

Model fierce but still "smiling with his eyes"

Thug life

Nutty Professor (this is what I have to look forward to)

Fangoria

Ice Cream's #1 Fan

we are for each other; then

laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

(cummings)

Monday, July 14, 2008

Dial "L" for Listiness

3 jobs I wish I Had In The Summertime Instead Of Working Inside A ~~Blazing Inferno~~ Bakery:

On-site camerawoman on March of the Penguins II: Revenge of the Penguins
Inventory Control Supervisor at Ben & Jerry’s Headquarters
US Ambassador to Greenland

3 foods currently comprising 75% of my diet:

Cottage cheese
Macadamia nuts. The saltier the better.
Half-price berries from Fresh & Easy. Mmm, spoilage makes them sweeter

3 Delightful Procrastination Tools:

Ask Metafilter. I especially enjoy the anonymous questions…other people’s lives are so screwed up.
So You Think You Can Dance, taped via my computer doohickey. Can I get a ticket on the Hot Tamale Train?!
Oh No They Didn’t! Surfing and consolidating all of the juiciest celebrity slander.

3 Songs I Can’t Stop Playing:

The Smiths: William It Was Really Nothing (2 minutes of perfection. This supremely stupid lip-syncing video has me cracking up uncontrollably. Let’s blame it on the late hour and move on.)
Black Kids: I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You (Like if The Cure and the Go! Team had a baby. And yes, I know I’ll be sick of it in a week.)
The Pixies: Head On (Best played loud in the car. Singing along is encouraged.)

3 Books I’m In the Middle of Reading But Will Most Likely Never Finish:

Italo Calvino, If On A Winter’s Night A Traveler. The fact that I found this at the bottom of a pile of books under my night table does not bode well for the completion of this masterpiece of postmodern fiction. The fact that I didn’t even remember that I owned it, much less that I read over 100 pages, is perhaps a more damning sign.
Don DeLillo, Underworld. Pro: It’s DeLillo. Con: It’s 1000 pages of DeLillo.
Orhan Pamuk, Snow. No “most likely” about this one. After eight months of forcing myself to read this one torturous page at a time, I finally gave in (just 50 pgs from the finish!) and read the ending on Wikipedia. I am now convinced that I’ll never be chosen as a Nobel judge.

That last list got me all riled up and reminded me how much I hated slogging through Snow. To make myself feel better (ie, justified in my loathing) I checked out the Amazon page for Snow, and found some corroborating reviews. Check out some of these brilliant review titles:

“Did they like it because they're supposed to like it?”
“pretentious, vacuous, and down right boring”
“Mud would have been a more apt title because this was like a slog through it”
“Just Say No to SNOW”
“What's the reason behind the Nobel Prize?”
“tedious to the bitter end”
“Wooden Characters Make for Tortuous Reading”
“I challenge you to stay awake”
“Dry as toast”
“After a certain point, it's unreadable”

And, my personal favorite:

“Complex novel made me feel stupid”

Morrissey and his pompadour agree: Snow was rubbish!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Home sweet home

Back from Chicago! Totally, completely bushed. Overall the trip was fantastic and I'm so glad I went. I met a lot of friendly, interesting people and sampled a lot of fun candy. I tended to gravitate toward the smaller chocolate companies out of taste bud preference, and there are some really exciting new companies and products out. Yum. The final haul covered most of my (king size) bed:

I have more fun pictures but posting them is beyond my sleep-deprived brain right now. But before I go, I must say: I met Jacques Torres! He gave a luncheon lecture/chocolate tasting session and was funny and charming and oh so French. He's done some instructional videos for the candy site so I introduced myself afterwards and got to chat with him for a bit. Definitely one of the highlights of the trip.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Hello, Chicago. Hello, Candy.

Day one of the All-Candy Expo is down. After perhaps the most horrific hotel stay I've ever had, and a grand total of six hours of sleep over the past two nights combined, I was more than ready to walk around an enormous convention center, shmooze candy reps, and eat sugar for eight hours straight. BRING IT ON.

Over 400 candy companies are at the expo, which makes navigating the center an overwhelming task. This is a shot of the inside right after the doors opened, which explains why it's so open and lacking in ravenous freeloaders.

The smallest booths were about 10x10, while the largest were larger than most restaurants. The Hershey's "booth" had a full-on bakery inside, where they assembled made-to-order cupcakes, brownies, etc. Other booths had cars, chocolate fountains, stilt walkers and jugglers......and let's not forget the power of Elvis in candy promotion.Master Chocolatier Joseph Schmidt had one of the most visually striking displays. Here he is with a chocolate bowl:

Yes, these are all made out of chocolate. He makes them by blowing up a balloon, dipping the bottom in multi-colored chocolate, letting it harden, then popping the balloon. The tulips, from stems to blooms? Chocolate. The vases? Chocolate. The picture frames? Chocolate.
The leg on the left was labeled FRAGILE. That's Italian.

The take after one day. Wisely, I packed a duffel inside my suitcase to help cart all this loot home. I was so sick of sugar by lunchtime, I didn't really have any all afternoon at the convention, then I had a sensible dinner...and promptly came home and tore into it. Like a kid on Halloween, I tell you. My room's trash can has such an embarrassing number of candy wrappers, I'm considering taking it out myself so the maid won't see it and wonder at my gluttony. More updates to come!
P.S. to my Chicago peeps: many apologies for not calling, this trip is super short and overbooked...J & I will just have to come out and see y'all sometime soon!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Yes, I know I'm creepy

This is BIG NEWS for the three people besides Jason and I who obsess over 30 Rock. (Karl, I'm looking in your direction). Jack McBrayer, who plays Kenneth the innocent Southern NBC page, lives across the street from us!
Jason saw him walking on a nearby street awhile ago, and then a few weeks ago I saw him leave the apartment across the street. Today I made like a crazy person and checked out that building's directory. Lo and behold:

Stalking commences immediately. All interested parties are invited to join. Bring binoculars and cookie jars with upside-down WOWs written on them.

And a few choice Kenneth quotes in celebration:

Kenneth: Mr. Jordan himself said, “Don’t let no one in who’s not on the list because this mess is gonna get raw like sushi. So haters to the left."
Ridikulous: What?! Man, what's your game?
Kenneth: Boggle!

Kenneth: I know how you like this cornbread Mr. Jordan.
Tracy: LIKE it? I love this cornbread so much I wanna take it back behind the middle school and get it pregnant.
Kenneth: Hee hee, pregnant cornbread.

Tracy: I'm even attracted to you, Kenneth!
Kenneth: Well, I am wearing a cuffed trouser today.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Holy moses. I am afraid I will never sleep again, let alone have enough time to catch up on crucial TV viewing (what is going on with Top Model??) or fill my blog with the usual ~~interesting~~ ~~insightful~~ posts.

Quick recap: work is good but busy. The wedding weekends were great but busy. Upcoming trip to the candy expo in Chicago promises to be delicious but (you guessed it) busy.

I hope to do a wedding picture post soon. Someone's gotta document the sexiness/craziness of a Payne family reunion...

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Spring Cleaning

First order of business: I have chopped off my hair in anticipation of summer. Huzzah!

I've also been giving my work area a haircut of sorts. Lots of reorganizing, sorting, and throwing things away. I wish I had some before photos, because this place was a mess. Jumbled, dirty, disorganized, gross. Nothing was labeled or dated (two huge imperatives in a kitchen) and it was impossible to see what we had in stock. I've been getting jiggy with the tape, sharpies, and plastic storage containers:

Here's a funny little story from work. We have this mammoth oven I like to call The Beast. It's built into one wall and is basically five huge shelves that rotate around in a circle. This is one of the shelves:
In the belly of The Beast:So one night last week, I hear what sounds like knocking. The oven is near one of the back doors, so I thought it was just someone outside. No one was there, so I ignored it and went about my business. When it came time to take my cookies out of the oven, I opened the door to find two normal trays of cookies, and one mangled parchment sheet of cookie carcasses on the shelf, with no tray to be seen. Finally I look closer, and see that my poor sheet tray had been bent in half and was lying crumpled on the floor of the oven. Apparently if the trays stick out the tiniest bit over the rim of the shelves, they get caught in the gears and eaten by The Beast. Sheet trays are sturdy, so there is some serious power in this oven. We've kept it around the kitchen and are thinking of giving it a face and a name--sort of a totem or mascot for us.